via chronicler Jason:

This account includes only approximate time stamps. It’s just a review of facts…I’m not trying to add humor to anything, really, because Andy does enough. 

12:30pm: Jason and Andy Robichaud show up to Louise’s West. There isn’t an empty table, and it’s a 5 minute wait, minimum, for a drink. Packed.

12:52pm: Robichaud finds one of his friends in a table and they have tickets to the game, so we plan to grab it after they leave. His friend’s friend is a Mizzou fan, and he proclaims that “Mizzou is going to get rolled by 15, I think. Either KU wins by 15 or Mizzou wins a close one.”

1:00pm: Andy Smith and Sean show up. They didn’t bring me a fish sandwich, so I will be waiting until dinner to eat my first meal.

1:45pm: Zac shows up with his friend and his girlfriend. Everyone is optimistic and happy.

2:00pm: I’ve had three beers and 28 cigarettes by now. Andy is fighting the urge to have a Jamison shot already. 

2:10pm: John Wurth shows up with something called a Stump. 

3:00pm: The Pac-12 Fail Fest still isn’t over. 

3:15pm??: Sometime after the game is supposed to start it starts.

4:15pm??: I conclude that the game is over, and I’m not even close to alone. Sean and Robichaud assert that we’ll win the game. JWurth and I laugh at them.

4:45pm: Andy starts the tradition of pounding on the air ducts to get the rest of the bar excited, and does this after every big basket. He claims that his thumb is broken as the game nears the end.

5:45pm: KU scores first in the overtime, I decide that it’s a sign (like the Memphis game) that we’re going to win, and Robichaud hard-spikes a half-full beer on the bar floor and no one is really surprised or bothered by this.

6:00pm: As I knew all along, KU wins. Every single person hugs every other person. I even hug that Stump thing.

6:15pm: Andy buys everyone a shot that he doesn’t hate. In other words, everyone but Stump. At this point, he’s getting pretty salty and we’re all thankful Sean has his car keys.

6:30pm: Kristi and Andy disappear to the bar “for shots” and come back with the smell of sex. They also took shots. Sean leaves, as Zac has assured us all that he’ll take Andy home.

8:00pm: Everyone has left but Andy, Kristi, Pete, and myself. Kristi can barely walk, so I’m trying to get her home so I can have sex. I decide to meet up with Pete after taking Kristi home.

8:05pm: Kristi uses the “I’m going to be sick…you might need to pull over” line to avoid sex.

8:07pm: Kristi throws up. She’s dedicated to avoiding sex.

8:08pm: I put my wife in bed; she can’t even put sentences together so I have to take her fucking shoes off for her. At the same time, I get a call from Zac saying that Andy has jumped out of Zac’s car “while it was moving” on Mass St. because he didn’t want to go home. I call Pete to get him to pick up Andy while I drive to meet them there.

8:15pm: Pete finds Andy, who is cussing at strangers. Andy insists that he should stay in a hotel, so he walks into Eldridge and demands a room.

Andy: “I need a room.”

Eldridge Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but we are booked for the night.”

Andy: “What if I give you $100? It’s always worked for me before.”

Eldridge Employee: “Sorry sir, but we really don’t have an empty room.”

8:20pm: Andy tells Pete to find him a room at Springhill Suites. Pete calls and they don’t have any rooms either. Pete checks his Priceline App and it says that there is a room available through their service, so he tries to book it for Andy using Andy’s credit card. It doesn’t go through, and this angers Andy greatly.

He proceeds to cuss at Pete and make fun of Pete’s phone, and is so angry that he starts throwing his body into a storefront window on Mass as if he was trying to break down a door to make a drug bust. Fortunately, he was too uncoordinated to do any damage. I’m not kidding or exaggerating, really.

Unfortunately, other people are walking past and staring at him.

Andy [to each stranger]: “Fuck you. Keep walking.”

8:30pm: I arrive downtown and find them in Free State. Immediately, I insist we go elsewhere because it’s packed in there and Andy could do serious damage.  

8:32pm:  Andy walks by the front window of Liberty Hall and gives the window a forearm shiver. He hits it hard. Luckily, the window doesn’t break. To be fair, the window said some things you shouldn’t say to a sensitive man.

Andy [to a guy standing in front of Liberty Hall]: “Fuck you.”

Guy: “Fuck you. What’s your problem?”

Andy: “Mind your fucking business. Are you the fucking guardian of Liberty Hall or something?” 

8:35pm: Pete, Andy, and I arrive at MexQuisito for dinner. Andy looks swell.

8:50pm: Andy tries to push Pete’s and my plate off the table using his own plate, and starts throwing food.

Pete: “Andy, how’s your food?”

Andy: “Shut the fuck up or I’ll stab you in the face.”

[Andy points his butter knife at Pete multiple times the rest of the night. Each time, it’s unprovoked.]

8:57pm: Andy refuses to let us pay for dinner and covers the check. He’s starting to fade, though.

9:03pm: We walk out of MexQuisito.

Andy [to some poor African-American chap with an Alabama shirt on]: “Alabama fucking sucks.”

Guy: “Fuck you. KU sucks.”

Andy: “You stupid motherfucker. I’ll stab you in the face.”

[Realizes he gave up the butter knife]

9:07pm: Andy stops between two cars on Mass St and vomits everything in his stomach.

Andy: “You’ve just seen something that doesn’t happen very often. Don’t say anything about this ever again or I’ll fucking kill you.”

Jason: “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

Andy: “Promise me right now you won’t say anything.”

Jason: “……….”


9:25pm: Andy and I reach my house. Andy refuses to sleep in the extra bedroom where he’d have a bed to himself, and insists that he should sleep on the couch. He refuses a pillow. He reluctantly accepts a blanket. 


Good night, sweet prince.